Dear Confessional,

I love my girlfriend and care a lot about her. She means everything to me and we have a great time together. Although, she is the most jealous person on the planet! She has a problem with me hanging out with my friends and she goes completely crazy when a girl’s name is even part of any of my conversations even if means completely nothing. She embarrasses me in front of everyone and my friends and family can’t stand her. I don’t know what to do because I do really love her and don’t want to break up with her, but I can’t deal with this any more. What should I do?

Kevin, Montreal.

Hey Kevin,

Let’s face it, your girlfriend is crazy and you need to run far, far away!!! Nah, I am just playing. I admire your commitment and devotion to your GF. You’re good shit boy! Clearly you two have built a strong emotional relationship and it’s obvious that she has many qualities that you really love (she has a nice rack doesn’t she?). Although, your gf does have major confidence and trust issues! That being said, it should be dually noted that, let’s face it, most of us do!!! I don’t think that there is one girl or guy out there that hasn’t felt or acted like your girlfriend at some point in his/her life. I’ve gone psycho bitch on every single boyfriend that I’ve had; I can’t even lie. From text and phone abuse, to the silent treatment, to breaking all the windows on his car, stealing his dog, putting illegal drugs in his suitcase before he boards a plane with his new girlfriend… you know the usual shenanigans. So your friends and family shouldn’t really judge that much since they’re probably sipping from the hypocrisy cup!

You have to find out why she is acting in this manner. Depending on the history of your relationship, the trust issues may be a result of a break in trust on your part at some point. We are all good at forgiving because it feels so good, but things like cheating or abandonment are hard issues to forget. In this case, you have to work harder to show her that the past was a mistake. This may take years. Makes you wonder if making out with “Crystal” to Flo Rida on the dance floor was really worth it?

More often than not, these spells of “that bitch cray” come as a result of self-confidence issues that transcribe themselves onto side-effects of your normal behaviour. When you go out without her, she probably takes it personally because she either feels that you are having a better time with other people than you do with her, or she feels you will meet someone better than her, or she makes herself go mental with thoughts about “where the fuck is he?”, “did I just hear a female?”, “why is he wearing cologne?”, “it’s been 2 full minutes since he texted me last, is he having sex?” etc. The root of these types of problems has to deal with her feelings of inadequacy toward herself. She is looking to you for reassurance and confidence, but we both know that, no matter how much you try, you won’t be able to provide those things for her. So try to talk to her to find out why she feels like a worthless Wanda. It could have something to do with her being dissatisfied with herself physically, she may not be settled in life in terms of goals and aspirations etc. She may also just be bored! Instead of trying to tell her that she is great, focus on trying to get her to see it for herself. If none of this works, maybe a reality check such as taking a break, may come in handy in order for her to realize the extent of damage she is doing to your relationship by putting her problems onto the two of you as a unit. Good luck, and whatever you do, don’t say that you feel like she’s being “needy”. You know what I mean bro???

Recap: You can’t get your ex back by telling his new girlfriend that he has herpes… for some reason it just doesn’t work!