If You Can't Stand the Tweets, Get Out of the Kitchen
Why Restaurants are Talking Back
Let’s all begin by giving a round of applause to some of the most patient people around. They are your servers. They are sneered at, yelled at, snapped at, ignored, insulted, at times humiliated, and they do it all with a smile. They take your verbal abuse and your dirty napkins. They clean up after your messy children. They deal with humans at their worst (when they are hungry or even more vile, hungover). The service industry is built around the notion that the customer is always right, and therefore, the server can only smile and do whatever they can (short of committing a felony) to make the client happy.
But the time for pleasantries has apparently ended, and a war has begun. One which is fought in the arena of the worldwide web, on the battlefields of Twitter, of Facebook and Yelp. While the angry customers flock to the forums of social networking to voice their disdain for ‘the below average service’ and how ‘the hype has created monsters out of the servers’, some of us in the industry have taken to responding through the same forum, and for some, it’s considered taboo.
Recently, sass on the end of the restaurant has come under scrutiny, as a certain meat-based high-end eatery in Toronto has gotten some flack for a couple of snide comments made via the owners’ Twitter account. Jen Agg, the owner of The Black Hoof, Cocktail Bar and Raw Bar – a trifecta of upscale snacking joints on Dundas West – hit her unsuspecting followers with the following on March 30th:
After receiving what we assume were more than a few concerned responses Agg followed up the next day with:
And
“People can be publicly rude to servers, but we have no right to be publicly frustrated with that behaviour?” – Jen Agg via Twitter.
Agg brings up an interesting point: should servers be able to voice their disagreement with rude customers? Where do we draw the line between difficult customer and someone simply being an asshole? And on that note, when is it appropriate for the server to talk back? Is it after the first snap of the fingers? The second condescending comment? The third curse? Furthermore, the fact that we are even addressing these issues leads me to another question. What has happened to restaurant etiquette?
‘The customer is always right’, a phrase which we have all heard dozens of times, is at the core of this issue. The term originated in the 20th century, however it wasn’t meant to be taken literally. The goal was to make the customer feel special by treating them as if they were right even when they were wrong. The idea soon became the motto of many companies. With todays ‘Have it your way’ generation, the sense of entitlement on the part of the customer has reached a ridiculous degree. Is it so absurd that you should have to wait more than 40 minutes to have a pizza delivered to your door?
Along with this moronic catch line, I believe three other fundamental factors are responsible for this shift in restaurant etiquette:
The first being; widened accessibility to fine dining. Historically, fine dining restaurants were equipped with white gloves and tablecloths, a setting which in itself demands that you be on your best behavior. Nowadays, chefs have taken the fine dining experience out of the dining halls and into the nooks and small spaces of trendy neighborhoods.
Secondly; the competitive nature of the restaurant industry. It’s a difficult industry to be successful in, both as a restaurant owner and as an employee. In order to do so, you must remain competitive by attempting to please your customers in any way possible.
Finally; the new, beautiful invention of the internet. Fail to live up to this customers standards and everyone who looks up your business on Yelp, Twitter or Facebook is going to hear about it, and then some.
The point is: just because the atmosphere isn’t high tea and doilies, it doesn’t excuse acting as if you’re the third child of Al Bundy. Just because you can type, and have access to the internet, doesn’t mean you should publicize every snarky comment that comes to you. Don’t hide behind the curtains of social media. I see Yelp (and most internet forums for that matter) as a giant public arena where everyone wears a mask and is unable to refrain from shouting every rude comment which comes to mind, a.k.a: utter chaos.
In the case of obnoxious customers and the trolls on Yelp vs. The Black Hoof’s passive aggressive twitter, we find the defendant: not guilty. I’ll acknowledge, taking to Twitter isn’t the smartest way to get your message across but there’s only a certain amount of bashing anyone should have to endure, and referring to your server as an ‘imbecile’ via Yelp definitely crosses that line. To what degree are we going to excuse this behaviour while expecting our servers to just grin and bear it?
At some point, I don’t care how much you’re tipping, you can not just hit someone with a billfold. I will agree with Agg that in certain situations, in the face of outwardly rude and disgusting behavior, the restaurant should be able to voice their disdain without fear of serious negative backlash. That being said; calling someone a douche on Twitter might not be the most diplomatic of approaches (although I laughed). If we’re getting real here, I must admit, this very thought goes through my head on a regular basis.
Personally, I prefer to voice my disdain outside of the social networking forum. On one occasion I was serving a man who left the bar without paying his tab and stepped outside. When I followed him out and politely asked him if he would mind settling up, he took major offence to this and apparently didn’t appreciate the “little b*tch” of a bartender accusing him of not paying the bill (his words, not mine). I was in shock, I meant no offence; I was just trying to keep my tabs in order and avoid a potential verbal assault from my boss. I turned and walked back into the restaurant, at which point he followed me, shouting even more. What I told him is what I will reiterate here today. Servers do not get paid nearly enough to put up with that attitude, and nowhere in their job descriptions does it say ‘roll over and take it while customers verbally assault you.’ I let him talk to my manager, and refused to serve him further.
General politeness and human decency should be taken into account at all times- not only in restaurants but when interacting with all customer service representatives who have the unlucky task of being the carrier pigeons of unwelcome news. True, you might be upset that your meal is taking a bit longer to be prepared than you expected – but it’s a Saturday night, the restaurant is packed, and although the server might be moving as fast as they can some things are just out of their control. The same can be said for the next time you consider yelling at any customer service representative. Its not Bobby’s fault that FIDO is charging you three times your pre arranged plan.
The next time you reach for your phone to chew out your server via YELP, remember; this is a person serving you – not your servant. A person who has put in years of training and has been running their butt off to ensure that you enjoy your night. They most likely do not deserve to be called a moron, imbecile or little b*tch just because of some simple misunderstanding. This is especially true of comments in a public forum that everyone can see (the internet never forgets). How would you feel if someone came into your workplace and constantly nagged your progress, insulted your education and then shouted to the community about what a ‘moron’ you were, due to something which was out of your control? Let’s continue to ensure that we keep these standards in mind, especially when dining and ensure the rest of our party does as well
…before we start a tweet war.
Let’s all begin by giving a round of applause to some of the most patient people around. They are your servers. They are sneered at, yelled at, snapped at, ignored, insulted, at times humiliated, and they do it all with a smile. They take your verbal abuse and your dirty napkins. They clean up after your messy children. They deal with humans at their worst (when they are hungry or even more vile, hungover). The service industry is built around the notion that the customer is always right, and therefore, the server can only smile and do whatever they can (short of committing a felony) to make the client happy.
But the time for pleasantries has apparently ended, and a war has begun. One which is fought in the arena of the worldwide web, on the battlefields of Twitter, of Facebook and Yelp. While the angry customers flock to the forums of social networking to voice their disdain for ‘the below average service’ and how ‘the hype has created monsters out of the servers’, some of us in the industry have taken to responding through the same forum, and for some, it’s considered taboo.
Dear (almost) everyone in here right now. Please, stop being such a douche.Recently, sass on the end of the restaurant has come under scrutiny, as a certain meat-based high-end eatery in Toronto has gotten some flack for a couple of snide comments made via the owners’ Twitter account. Jen Agg, the owner of The Black Hoof, Cocktail Bar and Raw Bar – a trifecta of upscale snacking joints on Dundas West – hit her unsuspecting followers with the following on March 30th:
Wow, everybody’s pretty excited. Explanation: A bunch of tables were being quite awful to my staff. I let out a tongue in cheek twitter sigh.
After receiving what we assume were more than a few concerned responses Agg followed up the next day with:
And
"People can be publicly rude to servers, but we have no right to be publicly frustrated with that behaviour?" - Jen Agg via Twitter.
Agg brings up an interesting point: should servers be able to voice their disagreement with rude customers? Where do we draw the line between difficult customer and someone simply being an asshole? And on that note, when is it appropriate for the server to talk back? Is it after the first snap of the fingers? The second condescending comment? The third curse? Furthermore, the fact that we are even addressing these issues leads me to another question. What has happened to restaurant etiquette?
‘The customer is always right’, a phrase which we have all heard dozens of times, is at the core of this issue. The term originated in the 20th century, however it wasn’t meant to be taken literally. The goal was to make the customer feel special by treating them as if they were right even when they were wrong. The idea soon became the motto of many companies. With todays ‘Have it your way’ generation, the sense of entitlement on the part of the customer has reached a ridiculous degree. Is it so absurd that you should have to wait more than 40 minutes to have a pizza delivered to your door?
Along with this moronic catch line, I believe three other fundamental factors are responsible for this shift in restaurant etiquette:
The first being; widened accessibility to fine dining. Historically, fine dining restaurants were equipped with white gloves and tablecloths, a setting which in itself demands that you be on your best behavior. Nowadays, chefs have taken the fine dining experience out of the dining halls and into the nooks and small spaces of trendy neighborhoods.
Secondly; the competitive nature of the restaurant industry. It’s a difficult industry to be successful in, both as a restaurant owner and as an employee. In order to do so, you must remain competitive by attempting to please your customers in any way possible.
Finally; the new, beautiful invention of the internet. Fail to live up to this customers standards and everyone who looks up your business on Yelp, Twitter or Facebook is going to hear about it, and then some.
The point is: just because the atmosphere isn’t high tea and doilies, it doesn’t excuse acting as if you’re the third child of Al Bundy. Just because you can type, and have access to the internet, doesn’t mean you should publicize every snarky comment that comes to you. Don’t hide behind the curtains of social media. I see Yelp (and most internet forums for that matter) as a giant public arena where everyone wears a mask and is unable to refrain from shouting every rude comment which comes to mind, a.k.a: utter chaos.
In the case of obnoxious customers and the trolls on Yelp vs. The Black Hoof’s passive aggressive twitter, we find the defendant: not guilty. I’ll acknowledge, taking to Twitter isn’t the smartest way to get your message across but there’s only a certain amount of bashing anyone should have to endure, and referring to your server as an ‘imbecile’ via Yelp definitely crosses that line. To what degree are we going to excuse this behaviour while expecting our servers to just grin and bear it?
At some point, I don’t care how much you’re tipping, you can not just hit someone with a billfold. I will agree with Agg that in certain situations, in the face of outwardly rude and disgusting behavior, the restaurant should be able to voice their disdain without fear of serious negative backlash. That being said; calling someone a douche on Twitter might not be the most diplomatic of approaches (although I laughed). If we’re getting real here, I must admit, this very thought goes through my head on a regular basis.
Personally, I prefer to voice my disdain outside of the social networking forum. On one occasion I was serving a man who left the bar without paying his tab and stepped outside. When I followed him out and politely asked him if he would mind settling up, he took major offence to this and apparently didn’t appreciate the “little b*tch” of a bartender accusing him of not paying the bill (his words, not mine). I was in shock, I meant no offence; I was just trying to keep my tabs in order and avoid a potential verbal assault from my boss. I turned and walked back into the restaurant, at which point he followed me, shouting even more. What I told him is what I will reiterate here today. Servers do not get paid nearly enough to put up with that attitude, and nowhere in their job descriptions does it say ‘roll over and take it while customers verbally assault you.’ I let him talk to my manager, and refused to serve him further.
General politeness and human decency should be taken into account at all times- not only in restaurants but when interacting with all customer service representatives who have the unlucky task of being the carrier pigeons of unwelcome news. True, you might be upset that your meal is taking a bit longer to be prepared than you expected – but it’s a Saturday night, the restaurant is packed, and although the server might be moving as fast as they can some things are just out of their control. The same can be said for the next time you consider yelling at any customer service representative. Its not Bobby’s fault that FIDO is charging you three times your pre arranged plan.
The next time you reach for your phone to chew out your server via YELP, remember; this is a person serving you - not your servant. A person who has put in years of training and has been running their butt off to ensure that you enjoy your night. They most likely do not deserve to be called a moron, imbecile or little b*tch just because of some simple misunderstanding. This is especially true of comments in a public forum that everyone can see (the internet never forgets). How would you feel if someone came into your workplace and constantly nagged your progress, insulted your education and then shouted to the community about what a ‘moron’ you were, due to something which was out of your control? Let’s continue to ensure that we keep these standards in mind, especially when dining and ensure the rest of our party does as well
…before we start a tweet war.