The Confessional: Help! I’m a Serial Dater

Dear Confessional,

I am desperately seeking dating advice. I am a serial dater, but I can’t seem to date just one guy. It never gets past about two or three dates! Help me reel one in!

Becky-Montreal, Qc.

Hey Becks,

First of all, good for you for getting out there. Most people are scared to even get on the scene! So first step; accomplished! Now, let’s analyse how you’re going about this whole business.

I would love to tell you to keep going on dates, stay positive, you’ll meet the right guy, there are plenty of fish in the sea (or on the internet), there is someone for everyone… yaddi yadda and all that jazz. The truth is Jess, that it’s this kind of thinking that has put you in this situation in the first place. Stop searching and start being! What do I mean by this? Read on girl…

The notion of dating has become this feat or skill that can supposedly be mastered and practiced. Although last time I checked, ain’t no PhD in no dating! If there were, I’d probs have one! It’s not even offered at DeVry! Dating is a process that leads you to look for qualities in an individual that you find appealing- it’s not a platform for you to perform on.

Step back for a second and ask yourself why you are dating in the first place? It’s probably to meet someone with whom you can get along with, feel comfortable with, relate to, laugh with, be open with, and open up to completely and be accepted. You are not going to accomplish or even recognize these goals if you are solely trying to be attuned to the person you are on a date with. Also, you are not getting a genuine impression of the person you are on a date with and he is not getting the same thing from you. This is an immediate recipe for artificiality; after all Splenda will only ever be a substitute for the real thing! Try that, and if you’re still striking out, get back at me!

Recap: Someone needs to pitch “Dating 101” to DeVry.