Remember when invitations came in an envelope?

Sex… In the ear?

Immediately Family Guy sprung to mind; the Opal Ring Crusade episode where Meg and her boyfriend take a vow of celibacy and instead choose to express their love by ‘doing it in the ear.’

I searched for a video clip of the episode so you may share in the hilarity – unfortunately none exist so instead you’ll have to catch one of the many re-runs.

“… loft-style bar called La Perla on Queen west.”

What is it about high ceilings, large windows and hard-wood floors that have everyone, from artsy-bohemians to urban-hipsters, swooning?

These one-time commercial warehouses have survived the extinction of their industrial inhabitants and now serve as residential spaces for many of Toronto’s elite.

It seems condo developers aren’t the only ones taking notice, club owners are looking to create loft-style venues in hopes of attracting those in-the-know.

Case and point: La Perla 738 Queen St. West; a split level, narrow yet comfortable design makes for an intimate venue. The type of spot best enjoyed with good friends, dressed to the nines while sipping on flutes of bubbly.

For this particular event I took a more casual approach to a lax dress code and sported a fitted cap, blue jeans and sneakers while knocking back tall-boys of Red Stripe. I was dressed appropriately considering one enthusiastic party go-er did away with her high heel shoes and instead chose to dance barefoot. In her sloppy state she made an attempt to remove my cap and place it on her own sweaty head – after her second attempt failed she saw I wasn’t having it and instead became distracted and decided to ride atop some dudes’ shoulders.

I mention the eager beaver not in attempt to call her out but instead to illustrate how the event had a house-party feel to it. At around 12:30 am, with Lucy‘Lo spinning his set – a guy was dancing close to where ‘Lo had set up and with a sporadic movement kicked out a cord bringing the music to a sudden halt.

A couple moans and groans later and the music was back bumping – Lucy‘Lo was unfazed and seemed to enjoy the fact that he had the crowd in a frenzy.

I’m far from a house music connoisseur but my friend who accompanied me; Spence Diamonds is and even he was able to over-look the lack of chop-worthy girls in favor of taking in some ‘dirty’ tracks.

I definitely picked up on some hip-hop vocal samples and rhythms that Lucy’Lo had infused into his house mixes. My ears were proven correct once ‘Lo had taken the headphones off and, during a quick chat, mentioned to me that he’d been in a rap group previously and this current gig was an effort to explore new genres.

By the time Paratroupe began his set at 1:00 am the combination of Red Stripe and bass had allowed the music to travel through my ear canal, penetrating my ear drum all the way through to my brain making for some serious head bobbing.

Ear sex indeed.