Remember that time MySpace, the precursor to FaceBook for those of you born into the information age, lied dormant for years, stealing ideas and feasting on the intellectual property of their industry betters, only to rise from the ashes, in a flurry of cool videos and copyright infringement, like a great fiery Phoenix to recapture the imaginations of millions of disenfranchised youth, bored with their current social media platforms?
Of course you don’t. Because it hasn’t happened yet. And it probably won’t, but whatever. Watch this:
Ya dude, that’s MySpace. Neeeewwww MySpace. You remember: that weird sort of freak half-sibling of MSN Messenger back in the day, frequented only by narcissistic high school girls and the guys that creeped on them before creeping was a thing. Also, by bands who never made it anywhere and now have significant debts incurred mostly by sloth, unpaid studio time and cocaine.
Anyway, New MySpace looks pretty badass. It’s like Twitter, Pinterest, Grooveshark and Facebook all rolled into one giant tumblr engine. It’s fucking GrooveTown PinTumblyBook and Justin Timberlake is friends with everyone.
By the looks of it, what MySpace has done here is integrated all your favorite social media platforms with a music engine and connected people through their preferred tunage. It looks like it comes fully equipped with all the bells and whistles we might expect from integrated software in the 21st century; we’ll be able to ‘share’ and drag and drop and post hilarious cat videos, all the while continuing to build, and live comfortably in, our own personal Baudrillian shadow world. I mean this shit’s so boss you won’t even want to read over the 17-thousand word licensing agreement with sub-headings like Organ Harvesting and Obligatory Rectal Exams; you’ll want in on all the action immediately. This is the information age buddy; you’re friends have already liked this post. They already signed over the better part of their youth to MySpace. Now It’s OurSpace.
Wake up and smell the file sharing.